After talking to a friend, I think I've realized that one thing I clearly need to add to the "must-have" column my "Ideal Husband" checklist is "crazy amounts of chemistry. " Mad, passionate, delicious chemistry! Because without chemistry, what do you have? I'll tell you what...
A friend. A good friend. Sometimes, a really good friend that you wished you were attracted to in a romantic way, but what can you do? If it's not there, it's not there! At least that's how it works for me. If it's not there at the beginning, it won't develop. It's possible to do some tweaking to improve existing chemistry, but for me, it's either there or not. And the only one way to assess it is up close and personal!
Which is why I don't mess around with emailing eHarmony guys for a month before meeting them. I'd much rather just meet and assess chemistry right away and just get that over with. There have been a few guys that I've been interested in based on emails and phone calls, but then I spent time with them and it's okay chemistry-wise... but not off the charts. And that pretty much extinguishes any desire. Without chemistry, I lose all romantic interest. If I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with, I need to be very attracted to them (and vice versa).
No matter how many problems I had with Jason, we always had the chemistry. It might've waned temporarily at times, but never for long and even at the end, it was pretty good. I think part of it was that I just fell so completely in love with him because we clicked on many levels, including the mental and physical attraction. It probably blinded us to other problems, but that's life! Man, I really want to find that again. Crazy chemistry with someone that fits the other stuff on my list too. That would be so cool. A girl can dream, can't she?
This just added... a little "chemistry" humor!