Thursday, August 28, 2008

Busy days ahead

I am home for Thursday, but have a TON of stuff to do, both work-wise, socially and to pack for my trip. For some unknown reason, I chose to leave LAX on Friday morning at 5:40 AM. Thankfully, I think Travis is going to give me a ride (thank you!!!), but that pretty much means everything needs to get taken care of tomorrow.

Things to do Thursday
Getting up early for hiking
Dropping off stuff at Travis' apt.
Work, work, work - lots of phone calls
Dinner with Robert

Yikes! I'm also trying to break my work down so that I have plenty of stuff to do on the plane so I can get that mundane stuff that I hate doing when I'm at home.

Once I land in Atlanta, we're going to Dragon*Con in Atlanta, a huge sci-fi/fantasy con. I am really looking forward to it since I've never been, PLUS I'll get to see Valerie & Tyler and Mark! It should be pretty fun. The first event planned in our evening there is finding Valerie in the Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog room!

Then on Saturday (and the next one), I get to go to my FIRST University of Georgia football games with Greg and 97,000 of his closest friends... I'm taking some of my "bacon-of-the-month" bacon with me as my peace offering to the tailgating gods! The Bulldogs are seeded #1 pre-season, so hopefully, they can do it and win it all! The whole town is obsessed with that college football. It's like straight out of the movies.

On Sunday, I get to see Greg sing (finally!) in the choir at church. He has a solo in the early service, so we'll be getting up early to make it to that!

Whew, I'll be ready for a holiday by the time Labor Day rolls around! It'll be nice to have nothing to do on Monday and have Greg all to myself. I'm really looking forward to seeing him. It's hard living across the country from each other!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Our First Fight

First fight? Check!

We've had our first fight. I would wonder sometimes what our first fight would be about considering we seem to get along so well and 0ddly enough, it was about the same exact thing as my first fight with 42. The subject? Calling when you're out of town.

With 42, when I look back at everything that ended up happening, I've thought, "I should've known when he didn't call that weekend that things weren't going to work out." To me, it was a sign that I wasn't a priority to him and I should've listened to my gut about it. Especially when the reason why he didn't call was that his phone died and he didn't want to stop gaming to go outside in the snow to get the charger out of his car. This coming from the guy that plays Ultimate in the snow and thinks it's fun. I should have heeded the big red flag when it made itself known. But I didn't and I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but it ended up not working out for a multitude of reasons.

So. Now it's happened again with Greg, except it wasn't just a weekend, it was six days. He texted me every day, but just didn't pick up the phone to call. (I did check and he does know how to use a phone...) And this is just the dating tip of the month to everyone out there: Texting is not the same as a phone call. I talked to him Monday night and by Thursday I was feeling a little antsy and cranky about it, by Friday I was upset and all I can say is thank goodness I was playing games all day Saturday to keep my mind off of it. So by the time he called me Sunday night, I was not happy with him.

I try to love like I've never been hurt, but it can be difficult. I mean, I was upset that he didn't call, but I think it was compounded by the fact that the same thing has already happened with 42 and look how that turned out. Greg was very apologetic on Sunday and Monday and tonight I told him that my first fight with 42 was over the same thing. And then I made sure that I told him that I didn't think he was like 42. Because I don't. They're like night and day in all the right ways.

After he apologized again tonight and promised that he would try very (very, very, very) hard to make sure it doesn't happen again, I made the decision to not be angry with him anymore. I believe him when he says that he did want to talk to me and thought of me often. I believe that it's hard to shift from being single and carefree to having a girlfriend and having to think about someone else in a different way than you have had to do in a long time. I was married for 10 years and am the oldest child in my family, so for me, that's more second nature. Not that I don't fall down on the job from time-to-time because I'm sure I do, but for the most part, I try to incorporate my significant other (or friends/family as the case may be) into my thought processes.

In any case, we made it through, unscathed. Again, I was able to talk to him about what I was thinking and feeling and we seem to communicate well. I probably could've been more up front with the fact that I was upset and why I was upset. But to be honest, I forgot that my first fight with 42 was about the same thing until last night. And remembering that kind of made it worse to me. Also, I think my pattern is that if I'm angry, I'm very loud about what I'm upset about, but if I'm hurt or feel vulnerable, I get very, very quiet. Which is why I was being more quiet about being upset. I am feeling pretty confident though that it won't happen again.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Feeling the Urge to Purge

Before I left for Athens, I lent my xBox 360 and and PS2 to some friends and noticed how much nicer my whole living room looked with less stuff. My game closet had room in it without the drum set taking up room... So that got me thinking, I should get rid of stuff when I get home.

Greg has nothing in his house. It's very minimalist and it's good in that it feels really open. It made me think even more that I should get rid of stuff. I think I see some purging in my future. I know I have a couple boxes of books that I've never looked at once in the last two years. And I have a box of my piano books that I'll probably never use again either. With my new job, I certainly don't need all those dressy work clothes anymore either, so I think I will be purging my closet even more.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Diets of all Sorts

I have eaten SO much during the last month. So, here's my plan that I'm focusing on for the next two weeks...
  • I'm swearing off all fried foods.
  • I need to just eat less!
  • Drink just water, UNsweetened tea or diet soda... but mainly water.
  • Exercise!! Even if it's just 15 minutes...
I'm really contemplating trying Tim Ferriss' technique of how to lose 20 lbs. of fat in 30 days... Although I'd only do it for the 15 days... Anything to help!

On a total random side note... Well, actually, I guess it's not totally random. It's kind of like a financial diet! :-)

I've also been stressing about retirement funds lately. Probably an odd thing for a 33 year old to worry about, but for some reason I do. I get obsessed sometimes about being prepared enough for retirement, worried that I won't have enough saved.

I was obsessing on this earlier this week and lucky for me, I had the good fortune to sit next to a retired person on each of my flights. I picked their brains and turns out, both of them were government workers, so they have pensions coming from that along with saving other ways. One of them told me to just save, even if it was a little bit and do it with every paycheck. I do that, so I am satisfied with that, but I feel like there's more I can and should do. I guess in reality, there's nothing more I can do about retirement since I'm maxing everything out. What I need to do is focus on saving more outside of my retirement accounts.

Anyway, random thoughts about the money stuff, I don't have a firm plan on that just yet. I think the first part is just looking at all the income and expenses and see how much I could possibly save if I wanted to and see how feasible that is. Luckily, I think I can make the next couple trips out to see Greg without actually spending anything by using miles that I've accumulated over the last few years.

I wonder how many people have budgets? And how many people stick to them? I should give myself a challenge of doing that! Making a budget and seeing if I can stick to it. For now, I'll do the research to see how much I'm actually spending. To be honest, I really don't know how much I'm spending other than my fixed expenses. My guess is that I'd be shocked at how much I'm spending going out to eat each month. Probably traveling too! Getting paid monthly should make it easy to divvy everything up if I make a budget. First step... see how much I'm spending and what exactly I'm spending it on...

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Short and Sweet about My Visit with Greg

I have two rather lengthy posts about my trip to Athens, but really, I don't think it's that interesting to anyone except me and maybe Greg! So, I'll just say that Athens was very different. I have lived in LA for so long that I've forgotten how jaded or cynical you can get living in a big city. Greg's friends are extremely sweet and almost wholesome! It was very different. Not necessarily in a bad way and it definitely seems like something I could adjust to.

Disclaimer: I know I make a lot of comparisons to Jason, but I was with him for 10 years, most of my adult life, so it's hard NOT to!

After spending a week with Greg, I appreciate even more things about him. He's very laid back - something that has required some adjustment. I'm used to dating (or being married to!) guys that have little dark rainclouds that follow them around and I didn't think it was possible, but I think Greg is even more sunny and optimistic than I am!! At least on my good days... It's a change and it's something I've always wanted in a partner, but it's been a little more difficult to adjust to than I imagined it would be. But I'm working on it.

Related to his laid back-ness, he is very easy to talk to about ANYTHING. We talked about all sorts of things and some subjects that potentially could cause tension and yet, they didn't. It's a big change from Jason, who I had to choose very carefully the time, the method, the everything so that I could try to catch him at his most receptive. I don't have to worry about that with Greg and it's weird, but good.

I love that Greg lets me do stuff for him. He was going to do laundry on Saturday while we hung around the house so that he could pack for his trip. Instead, I did his laundry for him on Friday while he was at work so that we could run around Athens and see some sights. I asked him on Friday during lunch if he did anything special to his laundry (so I could make sure I did it the way he liked) and he said, "You don't have to do that..." and I said, "I know, I want to!" Jason never wanted me to do anything for him. I'd offer to do things for him all the time and he would turn me down. Even stuff as simple as getting him a drink. It's just nice being with someone who will let me do things for him. It's really nice. And he was very appreciative after the fact. I'm looking forward to being even more domestic on my next visit and cook for him!

Most of all, I love that we just have lots of stuff in common, even more than I thought! The stuff we don't have in common, it just seems to work out and we're very complementary. It's really cool.

I think I'm just having to adjust to someone who is different than the "typical" guy I'm attracted to. I am confident that I will make the adjustment though and I think I'm going to be MUCH happier for it overall. I still think he's really awesome and I'm really looking forward to my next visit!

I miss him.

Friday, August 01, 2008

The View: Kill me now

I never really watch daytime or morning TV. If I do, it's because I'm sick and I'm usually watching "The Price Is Right," although Drew Carey ain't got NOTHIN' on Bob Barker and never will. His personality really falls flat.

That said, my roomie had "The View" turned on when I got out of the shower this morning. After about a minute, I asked her, "Women watch this show every day?! I've been listening to it for a minute and I'm ready to poke my ear drums out!!!!" Who watches that show? Wow. I figure it's gotta be women who are staying at home and don't have girlfriends to talk to? I don't get it. But then, I don't "get" women in general. I've been trying very hard to branch out and try to connect with women more. This morning I got up and went walking with some ladies here at Gulf Games. It was really fun.