Friday, March 21, 2008

Broken Up

I guess you can't technically "break up" with someone you're not "exclusively dating," but that's beside the point. Or maybe that's exactly the point. Either way...

We (42 & I) were fighting much too often. He thinks I was picking the fights, which is probably what it seemed like to him. Meanwhile, I think I was trying to talk to him about stuff that I was concerned about and our communication styles(?) when dealing with more important things (to me at least) just did not match up. At all. There were several other smaller things, but this one seemed to be the major problem.

My ex-boss used to tell me that you need to find someone with whom you share a backbone (like the core beliefs/values) and someone who shares your neuroses. It seemed like we shared a similar backbone so that part was good, but we weren't so lined up on the neuroses part. I know I have my own and I really need someone that can deal with them. And hopefully when that happens at some point in the future, I'll be able to deal with his. Whoever he is.

The part that really sucks is that I do like him and we could probably be good friends, but we were just not a good romantic match. Attraction? Yes. Effective communication? Not so much.

The part that's really great is I've learned more about myself through this and hopefully that will help with future relationships.

I wasn't at my desk to respond to the last thing he said to me (yes, this all happened via IM) and it's been bothering me, but I'm just letting it simmer for now. I don't think calling him will do much good at this point. Plus, I can't believe that he really thinks I don't care, even now. And if he does think that, I have nothing more to say to him.

I'm so glad I'm leaving for Vegas tomorrow morning! I need the distraction!


Cynthia said...

Sorry to hear that Steph. This kind of thing is hard to go through. I hope you are having a nice time in Vegas!

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephanie said...

Thanks Cynthia! It's been difficult... even worse the last couple days.