Everybody's got relationship advice. Everybody loves to give it too.
I had breakfast with my mom and an old-time friend of hers that lives in the area. I think I've known him since I was in elementary school. He's a very disciplined Korean man with lots of observations of the world. When I think of him when I was little, what I remember most is that he was always singing in a big strong voice and always seemed to exude happiness. That, and he loved his daughter more than life itself. When he and his wife split up, he kept custody of his daughter and I (and so far as I know, they) never saw his ex-wife again. Now, he loves Chick-Fil-A because as he puts it, he loves clean living and Chick-Fil-A is a "clean, clean place with clean food." Have you ever noticed how a lot of Asian people put big stock in cleanliness? It really can be next to godliness. But I digress...
His 21 year old daughter calls him every night from college and he reminds her to be strong and not give into temptation. He had this same advice for me! I said, "Don't worry... I'm strong." He took a look at me after I said that and said, "Yeah, you are strong." He cautioned me against guys that are con artists, trying to say sweet things, but then they don't mean them.
He said that I should pay attention to habits and see what he does. He asked, "Does he drink? Does he smoke? Does he use drugs? Does he spend money? All these things are important! And it doesn't matter if he doesn't do it now, if he used to, he could go back to it even if he stopped temporarily."
All very practical stuff, but good. I think a lot of people don't consider even the basics. And, he said that California is too much fun and having too much fun isn't a good thing because it's like a roller coaster. You'll go up, but then you're going to come down. I told him not to worry, I'm having fun, but not *too* much fun. I'm safe from the big drop on the roller coaster. In fact, it might almost be time to coast for a while.