Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Relationship advice

Everybody's got relationship advice. Everybody loves to give it too.

I had breakfast with my mom and an old-time friend of hers that lives in the area. I think I've known him since I was in elementary school. He's a very disciplined Korean man with lots of observations of the world. When I think of him when I was little, what I remember most is that he was always singing in a big strong voice and always seemed to exude happiness. That, and he loved his daughter more than life itself. When he and his wife split up, he kept custody of his daughter and I (and so far as I know, they) never saw his ex-wife again. Now, he loves Chick-Fil-A because as he puts it, he loves clean living and Chick-Fil-A is a "clean, clean place with clean food." Have you ever noticed how a lot of Asian people put big stock in cleanliness? It really can be next to godliness. But I digress...

His 21 year old daughter calls him every night from college and he reminds her to be strong and not give into temptation. He had this same advice for me! I said, "Don't worry... I'm strong." He took a look at me after I said that and said, "Yeah, you are strong." He cautioned me against guys that are con artists, trying to say sweet things, but then they don't mean them.

He said that I should pay attention to habits and see what he does. He asked, "Does he drink? Does he smoke? Does he use drugs? Does he spend money? All these things are important! And it doesn't matter if he doesn't do it now, if he used to, he could go back to it even if he stopped temporarily."

All very practical stuff, but good. I think a lot of people don't consider even the basics. And, he said that California is too much fun and having too much fun isn't a good thing because it's like a roller coaster. You'll go up, but then you're going to come down. I told him not to worry, I'm having fun, but not *too* much fun. I'm safe from the big drop on the roller coaster. In fact, it might almost be time to coast for a while.


erin said...

He likes Chick-Fil-A? Smart man. You listen to him.

Ryan said...

I have to disagree. What makes life good and memorable is the ups and downs. The experiences of living. If you just coast, with no real ups, and no real downs, then what's the point of anything? I think you have to go for extremes. Make some memories. Make an impact.

Stephanie said...

I agree that life's ups and downs are the best part. However, I think it's been too much fun lately and I need to crank it down a bit! :-) I'm doing some to make memories and an impact. I could do more though.

MisterCranky said...

I would like to dispute your thesis--I for one hate to give relationship advice. I've been married for twenty years, and I wouldn't know a damned thing about anybody's relationship other than my own. Furthermore, I wouldn't want to. Nor, and this is key, would I want to be responsible for influencing anybody in any way, shape, or form, about virtually anything. But really that's just me, you should try to find a love interest who is exactly like me, with the notable exception that they would not have added this self-contradictory nonsense at the end of their comment.

Chick-Fil-A is not so great, except for the pickle in the chicken sandwiches. Congrats on winning the yellow score sheet game!