Tuesday, March 27, 2007

How conscious is attraction?

I looked across a table and met his gaze. Something about the quiet, yet intense way he looked at me made me curious about him and made me long for him. But what? We'd hardly exchanged 10 words with each other and yet, there it was. Attraction. At least from my end. How does that work? How can you look at someone and be attracted to them while hardly exchanging a word? Granted, that attraction may diminish the second they open their mouths, but it's there.

It's like your unconscious takes over and starts analyzing the person based solely on what the eye can see and that's where the sorting begins. Your brain starts trying to categorize the person based on all its experience and viola! Attraction...

Based on these assumptions, I'd like to lodge a complaint. A complaint against myself. Specifically, against my Brain. If attraction truly does stem from the Brain, then Brain, listen up! Could you please stop being so annoying and try to be a little practical? Quit being so unconscious and try to think about it just a bit before you start sending dopamine everywhere. I understand that I make it difficult when I hug someone who makes you feel like nothing in the world could possibly go wrong for those few seconds, but be strong! Don't waste the dopamine!

And please stop making me feel attracted to guys who:
  • Don't want kids. Just stop it! I had to consciously override you already by divorcing my husband. If I was OK with not having kids, I would've stuck with the perfectly good man I already had!

  • Are atheist/agnostic. Why is believing in God so hard to find? It seems tougher in L.A., but maybe it's my sample size. I promise to do my part by branching out more.

Thanks. If you can't help, then I promise to start doing more conscious filtration of the attraction. Maybe between the two of us, we'll be OK.

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