Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I need a man with social skills

This guy with a FULL beard started communication with me on eHarmony the other day. I like my men on the clean-shaven side, but I went ahead and answered his questions and started the process because I figured I should try to be open-minded about the facial hair. Then we got to the second stage where we exchange our "Must Haves/Can't Stands".

One of his Must Haves was: "I must have a partner who mainly enjoys staying in together and having quiet evenings alone or with close friends."

I could not click "CLOSE MATCH" fast enough! Wow, that really is a sore spot for me. I don't want to be in a relationship where I feel trapped and feel like I have to spend all my time with my partner. I naturally tend to lean that way, but the fact that he's listing it as one of his Must Haves means he must really want that alone time or time with close friends. I was feeling smothered just READING that statement. Ick, ugh, and yuck! Part of it is reactionary from my marriage, but one thing I know is that I do not want a repeat of that aspect of my marriage!

That's why one of my Must Haves is: I must have a partner who loves to socialize with lots of different people.

I have a core group of friends, but I have a wide circle at the same time! I need someone that can hang with them and be at least open to spending time with them. Spending time alone is great, but I don't want to get caught in that rut of spending ALL our time together. It's not healthy. And more importantly, I don't want a life like that.

3 comments:

Dave said...

So, not knowing how eHarmony works, I first read your CLOSE MATCH (i.e. end it) as CLOSE MATCH (i.e. similar to how I feel), and, of course, thought, "Huh? That's not how she feels."

:)

TherMight said...

That was confusing "close match" can also mean "Wow we really closely match each other" but now it makes sense that you were "closing the match". Yeah that sounds not for you :)

Anonymous said...

I came across your blog while doing research on Wawanesa (I'm trying to recommend them to a friend!). Then I found your writing to be quite interesting, so I went to your current entry and this post struck quite a chord with me (Pun intended..."eHarmony"..yuk yuk yuk jk) Anyway, reading this experience made me laugh so hard because I totally know what you are talking about! Good luck! Keep letting us know how it's going!