Can we just be friends?

Well, it's been a while since I've mentioned 23, the guy I was dating last year for a little while. I liked him for many reasons and then he broke up with me because he wasn't over his ex-girlfriend yet. Quite understandable. I was already concerned because I thought he was too young for me anyway, so it worked out quite nicely.

I was talking with my co-worker a couple days ago and she brought up the time that he had pulled my chair out for me when we were eating at the Great Steak and Potato Company one night. A memorable event indeed! That got me thinking... I wonder how he's doing? I know Erin ran into him at a Neko Case concert in February, but I haven't tried contacting him at all since we broke up. Initially, I was too sad about the whole thing and since I got over it, I've just been preoccupied with other stuff.

A couple nights ago, I was sorting through some pictures on my hard drive and ran across a picture of him. So I figured I'd just drop a line and say "hi!" We've exchanged a couple emails and looks like we'll be hanging out sometime, hopefully soon. I did truly like him and always thought that he was pretty cool to hang out with. I think we could actually be friends and not in a weird way, which is a great feeling to have about someone. He apparently feels the same way, so it looks like I will have a new friend.

This will be interesting for me. Over the last year, I've managed to stay "friends" with most of the guys I've dated, which is a totally new experience for me. I'd never really done that in the past. I'm looking forward to it. I have a good feeling about it!

2007 New Year's Resolutions

I like resolutions. I love the idea of New Year's Resolutions. The idea that there's a fresh new year in front of us and *we* can make changes to make our lives better. I love that! I'm constantly striving to make my life better and more enjoyable for myself and all the people I am lucky enough to call my friends. Though I am constantly reassessing myself and my life and trying to improve it throughout the year, there are certain milestones (like a birthday or New Year's) really helps focus my mind of thinking about what I want and how I'm going to go about achieving it.

I also love having a plan. Things don't get done without plans and details to go along with said plan. I think people who don't plan are probably not getting as much done as they could. And that may be OK for some people, but I definitely prefer the "plan" route. Sometimes even having a list of things you need to get done like "sweep the floor" is enough to make you get up and sweep the floor. It's very motivating and focusing. It also makes me feel more settled. Resolutions are like my general personal growth plan for the year!

Some of my resolutions (esp. financial ones) are repeats of last year. I had a much harder time with personal goals for the year. I feel like now that my divorce is final and I'm dating and have *lots* of friends that I love, I'm having a hard time desiring more than I have (which is a good thing, I know!). I'm actually quite satisfied with my social/personal life and work life. I guess I'm pretty happy with most aspects of my life at this point. But I went ahead and tried to think of stuff that I could improve, because there is *always* room for improvement.

And without further ado, I present my resolutions for 2007.

Personal
1. Spend more time at home alone. This will allow me to keep up with my household duties and bills, etc. - By far my most needed resolution. If I'm home more, I will have things a bit more organized and cleaned up.

2. Be more physically cognizant of myself - get more sleep, drink more water, eat better foods, move more. - Kind of related to #1. If I am home more, hopefully, I'm getting to bed earlier, exercising more and cooking healthier meals at home.

3. Floss. I never floss and every six months, I tell my hygenist Mary that I'm going to do it. So, my goal is to floss. Ultimately, every day is my goal, but for starters, I think I'll aim to floss a couple times a week plus some.

Ways to Expand my Horizons
1. Watch one new-to-me movie a week. I am considering making Mondays my movie night and on that day, I will watch one movie I have not seen before. I think I'll post the planned movie in advance so that people can join me if they'd like to.

2. Read one book a month. I have really slacked off on reading, mainly because by the time I get to bed, I'm exhausted. However, if I'm getting to bed earlier, I might actually stay awake for more than two minutes so that I can read a book! I received some books for Christmas, so that will keep me busy for the first few months at least!

3. Go out to eat at a new restaurant once a month. This, most likely, will take the form of a small monthly dinner club consisting of 4 or 6 people. Members yet to be determined.


Financial
1. Make a living trust and medical power of attorney.

2. Max out 401(k) and Roth IRA contributions in 2007. The 2007 maximums are: 401(k)= $15,500 and Roth IRA = $4,000 - I maxed both out for 2006 and foresee no problem maxing it out for 2007.

3. Save more money outside of retirement accounts. Ultimately, I'd like to save at least 10% of take home pay. I don't know how feasible that is since I'm putting so much towards retirement, but I want to at least try. It's all about goals, right?



So there they are. I just realized that I have three in each of my three categories! Perfect! Not too many, juuuuust right! Does anyone else make resolutions? What are they going to be this year?

I'll be starting the new year fresh...

I am no longer going out with 23. So, I'll be starting 2007 fresh and single! :-)

Nothing major happened, I sensed that something was amiss and so I asked him about it and I found out that he's not over his fairly recent break-up with his ex-girlfriend. So we won't be seeing each other any longer. I was kind of down about it for a day, but in a way, I'm relieved. I think the age gap would've been a problem at some point, so better to break it off now before I'm all crazy about him! Also, I think, like most 23 year olds, he wasn't really sure where he's headed just yet whereas I don't really have that problem. I'm practically booked through April and know exactly the direction I want my life to go. As one friend said, "I don't think he really knew what he was getting into when he asked you out." I couldn't help but laugh! I can be intense at times, so my goal is to find someone who likes and appreciates that quality in me.

I've already started working on my resolutions for 2007, to be posted tomorrow. Hopefully, you've started thinking about what you want to do this upcoming year. It's fresh and new and full of possibilities!! Optimism is my friend!

As for tonight, there will be most importantly, FRIENDS! and food-wise: honey baked ham, potatos au gratin, creamed corn, Que Bueno Nacho Cheese, chips with salsa and guacamole, a cheeseball and some Columbus peppered salame. Then for dessert, pineapple upside down cake and a pear tart from Porto's. Mmmmm... And of course, LOTS of alcohol. I'm ready for a drink!

Oh, and Guitar Hero. There will definitely be Guitar Hero...

All or Nothing?

After some more reflection today, I think the area of personal growth this whole dating thing is tackling might be my "All or Nothing" tendencies. While I've grown more grey in my years, everything used to be starkly black or white.

I have to remind myself that everything is NOT an "either/or" proposition. Take this whole 23 thing... There are varying degrees of actions I could take between running away to avoid the potential hurt and falling blindly into infatuation. But in my mind and more so, in my heart, those feel like the only two options.

Thus, my personal growth area... the area where I could grow and stretch those boundaries I have in my mind. Can I continue to date him with some caution and make somewhat rational decisions and not let my emotions (or hormones) take control? I can, right? I've always been somewhat manic about relationships, so it's not a new feeling. However, maybe changing part of the feeling and creating a new, less manic feeling is a good thing. I don't even know if it's possible, but how can it not be possible? If I set my mind to it, I know it is possible.

I want to see where this goes and be open to whatever permutations it might take from my end or his. Seriously, I was looking at the subtitle of my blog and I thought, "If I just run, then I'm letting this opportunity in life pass me by and I don't want to do that." And I'm not going to.

To add to that All or Nothing tendency is my other thing: I fluctuate from being wildly optimistic to worst case scenario chick. But that, is another post. And I'm not sure I want to 'fess up to all that online. :-)