Working on Resolutions for 2010

I love the beginning of a new year. Yes, it's still the Friday that follows a Thursday, but there's still something different about it. Mentally, it's a NEW year, which means I can slough off the old year and all the mistakes I made in 2009 and start fresh in 2010... a rebirth of sorts.

I've been contemplating what my resolutions will be for 2010 and have realized that all my resolutions fall into one of three (and usually ALL three) categories: money/finance, health/fitness and personal growth.

One thing that I completely let slide in 2009 that I think I'm going to pick back up for 2010 is logging all my game plays. It's not necessarily a "resolution," but I think it's something I'm going to re-start in 2010.

And looking back on 2009, I think the other non-resolution, but something I want to start back up is blogging! I've been lagging severely on that. I hardly posted anything in 2009. Mainly because I didn't want to blog about the guy I liked and that took up a lot of my mental energy. Now that that is over and done with, I feel the new year shining on my blogging soul!

At this point, I'm not going to go back and "catch up" on my old stuff, but just go forward from now.

Google Voice

I just signed up for Google Voice! I'm curious to see how I'll like it and to see if it works. I have a new number that will automatically forward to my home and cell phone numbers. In addition, I can screen everything individually or by groups! Whenever people leave voice mail messages, it will email me an audio file of the voice mail as well as do a transcription of the voice mail message. I can easily make conference calls and listen to voice mails as they're being left! I'm excited to see how this will work.

Additionally, I put a cool new widget on the blog! Readers can call anytime and leave me audio commentary!

Sooooooo behind

I'm SOOOOOO behind on blogging. The last few months have been really, really busy and it looks like it's not letting up until January. So, I'll have to post snippets when I can.

Major stuff that's been going on over the last few months:

• Went to San Francisco for Oracle Open World in October,
• Went to Belgium, Amsterdam & Essen, Germany with Chris & Jeremiah,
• Went to BGG.CON in Dallas,
• Went to the Bohemian Grove with Dave for Thanksgiving,
• Baked lots and lots of cookies, and finally...
• Have gone on lots and lots of dates, especially over the last month!

In between all that, I've been working, gaming, cooking, eating and trying to sleep! I'll have to post little tidbits about those adventures (plus any other little ones)!

Housing Swap

I love to travel. And really, the most expensive part of traveling seems to be the airfare and the lodging, whatever form it takes. I've long contemplated trying to find a housing swap to take advantage of the ability I have to work from anywhere.

So I placed an ad on Craigslist stating I have a one bedroom apartment and would be interested in swapping with someone and was open to the destination. So far, offers I've received:

• Swap for 3-6 weeks with a girl from Paris! That would be awesome...
  
• Swap during Jan - Feb for an apartment in the center of Madrid
• Swap during January for a Manhattan apartment that sounds way nicer than mine
• A local who needs a place for her parents to stay when they visit her and the new grandbaby, the parents have a place in northern Italy
• Swap during February with someone in Brooklyn

All good choices. Madrid would certainly be the most adventurous. I'd definitely need to clean up my place. They'd have to take care of my cats too. So, it's going to require some research, but I need to prioritize which of them I'm the most interested in. Hmmmm...

Date tonight

I have a date tonight. This is the first date I've had in months and months and I feel ready! Lately I've become increasing frustrated with the ex-bf and he hasn't done himself any favors by ignoring my requests. That's a quick way to kill any kind of attraction.

Plus, I met a guy last weekend that kinda renewed my faith that I will find someone. He is incredibly sweet and seems like a very giving, loyal person, which is very attractive to me. You can also tell that he doesn't say anything lightly. If he says something, he means it 100%, which is refreshing. We spent a couple days together at camp, just star gazing, talking, hanging out and we had a blast. I talked to him a bit today and his life is in a bit of chaos, so I don't think there's anything to happen with him in the near future, but it was nice to just talk with someone and feel that connection. And of course, it happened completely when I wasn't expecting it to. Apparently I was ready and didn't even know it. It felt completely natural.

But the date tonight isn't with him. It's with someone from a dating site, so we'll see how it goes. He picked out an Italian restaurant that I've probably seen before but never gone in to eat there. I think the fact that he didn't suggest a chain restaurant is already a decent sign. The menu online looks tasty, so here's to hoping!

Camp Memories

I went to summer camp once as a child. It was the summer I lived with my dad when I was in third grade. If you know me now, one thing you'll learn is that I don't like extreme temperatures, either hot OR cold. I have very few memories on the camp I went to, but the most vivid one is doing the "polar bear swim" where we had to wake up early and swim across the short end of the very cold pool. It was traumatizing! I think we also sang songs and played Capture the Flag, but other than that, I don't remember a lot. So I've never had happy memories of camp. Luckily, that is all changed!

I rode up Friday night with Jon and we stopped in Bakersfield to pick up Keith. I had made it a condition of traveling that we eat at Moo Creamery, this tasty burger/ice cream place in Bakersfield. If you have never been, you have to stop on your way up. Their onion rings are delicious. I've been here twice. Each time, I think I'll save room for custom-flavored ice cream and I never have room after dinner! Here are a couple pictures of our food:


Onion Rings with Bacon & Blue Burger

Friday's special: Fish & Chips

And then when we came out, we saw this big beetle! I couldn't resist taking a picture!
Beetle outside of Moo Creamery

We arrived around 10:30 on Friday night. By the time we got there, everyone was asleep, so we just got settled in. I spent a few hours in the kitchen on Saturday helping my friend Stephanie cook for all the volunteers that Shane had up there to help close the camp down for the winter. We made grilled cheese sandwiches in the super cool kitchen. Of course I took pictures of both...
Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
The Kitchen

After helping Steph with lunch, she gave me a couple hours off to go explore the camp. Once I took a peek outside, I saw how gorgeous it is up there! It's up in the mountains, which is nice, but I think what I like best is that it's on a lake. Here's a picture I took looking down at the lake from just outside the dining hall.
View of the lake

View of the dock

We spent some time just shooting the breeze down at the dock and it was a blast.

After dinner, I rounded up the Boy Scouts that were volunteering that weekend to play Ultimate Werewolf. They could not get enough of it! We played four games in a row before the parents made them go to bed. It was really fun.

After Werewolf, I went up to the staff house to have a drink with Steph, Rimas, Justin, Christine & Cassie. We hung out for a just a bit and then everyone trickled off to bed. I ended up staying up for a while and to do some star gazing. The stars are stunning up at camp! Without light pollution, it's shocking how many you can see! I forget that there are so many of them!

I was sad to go home on Sunday. I had a great time with the folks up at camp and as I was sitting in my living room on Monday, working on payroll, I just missed the quiet beauty. I can't wait to go back next summer!

Life is Short

This break-up has been tough and I haven't been doing a good job of keeping away from the ex-boyfriend. I called him last week. The good news is that I'm feeling better after talking with him. The bad news is that I feel kind of lame for breaking down and calling him, although I know he didn't mind. I have a soft spot for him, that's for sure. The more I think about him, us, our separate lives, a possible life together, I just keep thinking... life is short. Too many people have been dying lately, friends have been losing jobs, love is difficult to find and even more difficult to maintain... Life is full of changes.

I need to remind myself to keep looking forward... Taking a deep breath now. Staying focused. I need to stay strong. It's tough, but I can do it. I can do it. I can do it...

Travian

The ex-bf talked me into joining him in playing Travian, an online war game. You start with a dinky little village and build up your resources, then with those resources, you build troops and then there's all out warfare. I'm on S8 and I started late. So far, I have one village that's medium sized and I just started a new village. I'm naming all of my villages after Race for the Galaxy worlds. I've befriended another East Coaster who's helping me with my account and vice versa, so it's something to do in the evenings. Unfortunately for him, he's getting picked on by a rival alliance and he's not sure he'll last another week or two. It's quite volatile.

People keep talking about the mid-game. I think this is when a lot of casual players get picked off and destroyed to get ready for the "end-game". Each server runs for a year. This one started in March, but I didn't start until June. I'm doing okay though considering I started so late.

The good thing is that it's something to keep me busy. To be successful, I probably should read up on strategy, but so far, I've just been winging it. I'll just be happy if I don't get wiped out. So far, no one's been really picking on me, but I'm sure I'll become a target once I grow my population some more. Until then, I'm just enjoying managing everything! It scratches that itch for me... I am enjoying it!

Another Break-Up

I've been really behind on blogging, but finally getting caught up on all the blogs. Mainly because I was dating someone that I wasn't blogging about and that was taking up a lot of my time. But, unfortunately, that is now over and it's freed up a lot of time that I need to fill somehow. I've been doing my best to keep busy because of all the break-ups over the last few years, so far, this one's been the most difficult to deal with. Part of the difficulty with it is that I really like him and I know he really likes me, compounded by the fact that we're broken up, but it's ambiguous. Add to that, we didn't break up because we didn't like each other or got into a big fight of some sort. He has a previous relationship that he needs to figure out first and that will take some time. I have no idea how much time it will take for him to figure it out. Or if he's even working on it (I hope he is). Or if he will ever figure it out. Or, or, or... There are many questions left unanswered at this point. I'm a planner type, so this uncertainty thing is not my favorite, nor is patience my strong suit. So there are lots of things rooting against my brain at this point.

I've been trying to convince myself that I need to just think: "It's completely over..." so then if anything changes in the future, it will be a surprise rather than trying to keep the hope alive that somehow we will work out. Plus, if I keep repeating that to myself, I can hopefully start moving on and be open to meeting someone else eventually.

That said, I think my big lesson from this one is: Don't get involved with someone if they are newly broken-up from someone because it might not be over. Especially if it was a long-term relationship. No matter how unhappy they were with the other person. No matter what the person says about the relationship or the other person. Because I think what I've learned more than anything is that old familiar phrase, "Actions speak louder than words..." He was a lot of words and a bit lackluster in the action department. Unfortunately for me, I am a "words of affirmation" person, so that kept me around long enough to fall for him. I won't make that mistake again. When I see lack of action, I will pay attention to that, more than the sweet, but empty words.

Additional lesson: I need to remember that people don't like to change and will often want to go back to what they're comfortable with, even if what they're going back to isn't good or fun or enjoyable. Even if it's not going to make them happy in the long run, people love to look back. To keep moving forward, you need to keep your eyes pointed forward. It's really difficult to do, especially in love relationships. Everyone wants to look back. I know, I've done it. I spent a long time deciding whether I should divorce Jason a few years ago. More recently, I've spent the last few weeks, looking back at him (and my phone, willing it to ring) and hoping everything will be different, but now I know... I have to keep my eyes forward so that I will move forward. I can't keep looking back. He knows how to reach me once he's done with looking over his shoulder. If he is ever done with it. I know how difficult it can be. I've been there. So while I get irrationally upset sometimes about it, I completely understand. And I do want what's best for him.

Because I think that more than anything, the goals for my life are: to grow, to be happy, to have meaning and share life with an equally suitable partner. I can't have that with him at this point so it's just as well that we're broken up. He has some work he needs to do and I'm not sure he wants to do it. Thankfully, I can stop thinking about that now.

And the last thing:
No more long distance relationships. None. Either someone moves, or it's just not happening.

Behind on blogging

Yeah, I'm behind... But I think I'll be getting caught up soon.